By Tim Elmore __ I know, I know. Your days each week are crazy. You’re busy. Your kids are busy. And often, family times are reduced to eating chicken nuggets in the minivan while on your way from piano lessons to soccer practice. __ Years ago, my wife, Pam, and our daughter, Bethany, dropped me off at the airport for yet another trip I would take that month. Bethany was only three at the time, and when she looked at the crowded airport, she said to me, “Dad—do you live here?” __ That’s when I knew I had to be more intentional about my family time. __ The Invaluable Lesson I Learned I was serving under John Maxwell’s leadership during that season. I started in 1983 and have served somewhere next to him since then. As he and I noticed our need for a plan to lead our families well, I had an epiphany. The answer was not to prioritize our schedule but rather to schedule our priorities. We had to take advantage of the times we naturally have in our days at home. For me, I began to leverage four natural junctions: __
__ Let’s face it. These four daily periods are often wasted instead of redeemed for growth and helpful conversation. The key is to use each junction to serve a function! Years ago, my friend Reggie Joiner reminded me that parents can serve different roles during different times of the day. At bedtime, for example, we can naturally play the role of counselor. My kids were much more vulnerable with me at bedtime. At mealtime, we can serve as a teacher, debriefing the day and making sense of what happened. During drive time, we can serve as a friend, listening to and discussing what the song lyrics mean and how they should or should not shape our worldview. Finally, morning time is perfect for playing the role of a cheerleader, encouraging them to be prepared to serve others that day. __ Let me offer some questions for conversation at each of these junctions: __
__ Over time, being intentional meant taking each of my kids out on dates and talking specifically about the topics that interested them. It meant going on trips, even service trips, where they would learn from others and sometimes serve those strangers in that foreign place. It meant welcoming people into our home and teaching our kids what it means to host others experientially. Finally, it meant reading books together. __ Which is what drove me to create a book for this very purpose. __ I Can’t Wait! I’ve been collecting and curating such stories for years and placed them in a book called: “I Can’t Wait: 52 Stories of Kids Who Changed Their World…That You Can Discuss Together.” These short stories make up 52 chapters, one a week for an entire year. They include discussion questions and a link to a video about the young person in that chapter. They’re about people, ages five to twenty-four, who stepped up and did something rather than “veg” on the sofa, binging Netflix shows or watching TikTok videos. __ Consider what your family might look like if once a week if one of these stories provided a great spark for conversation. The stories will inspire and amaze both kids and adults. Ann was a teen who invented a flashlight that doesn’t require batteries or electricity. It is powered by the body heat of your hand. She designed it for a friend in the Philippines who couldn’t do her homework at night since she had no electricity. Louie was a kid who accidentally blinded himself with a tool from his dad’s shed. When he began attending a school for the blind, he noticed they used a pitiful system for reading. This kid, Louie Braille, developed a system of reading for the blind that people now use worldwide. What’s more, Louie used the very tool that blinded him to create the raised dots in his system. His problem became a possibility. __ These stories will spark leadership insights for your kids. And who knows? Maybe reading them in those daily junctions will serve a leadership development function. __ The post Taking Advantage of Natural Junctions in the Day with Your Kids appeared first on Growing Leaders. via Growing Leaders https://ift.tt/Uawh4JR
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By Tim Elmore Looking back on my life and career, I see more gains than losses. Upon deeper reflection, however, I think my memory is reconstructed. While I recall tragedies, setbacks, and losses, I see them through a different lens than most people do. I’m not in “denial,” but I perceive how each disadvantage became an advantage. A few examples are…
My point is that we can determine what we see because we can choose what we look at. And what we focus on expands. Our trouble is that we ruminate instead of reflect. My friend Randy Hain just reminded me that we often drift into ruminating on what we’ve lost instead of reflecting on what we’ve gained. Let me offer three options we have when facing a loss. It can DEFINE you. For millions, this is their default mechanism. They suffer a tragic loss (a job, a family member, an investment, a spouse, a promotion, you name it), and this loss begins to define who they are. Their self-image morphs based on what’s been taken away. They suffer “imposter syndrome,” believing that maybe they didn’t really deserve that job anyway. Soon, they make decisions based on their plummeting sense of identity, and it’s confirmed over and over. Before they know it, depression sets in, and their ambition evaporates. They’re now defined by a setback, perhaps a single setback, and their life is never the same again. The antidote for this is something we know deep down but forget in this emotional state. We must never place our sense of identity in something that can be taken away. Athletes suffer when they place their entire sense of self in their sport and they age out. Our talent, looks, or income should not define who we believe we are. The healthiest people choose something internal and eternal to define them. What’s inside of you and before you are more important than what’s behind you. It can CONFINE you. This response is also common and only slightly better than the first one. Many people suffer a loss, and they allow yesterday to confine what they imagine for tomorrow. An experience molds and restricts them from the freedom to envision significant success. When a loss defines us, it diminishes our sense of identity. When a loss confines us, it diminishes our sense of capacity. We might remain emotionally healthy people, but we settle for less. We are limited and hampered more than in the past. We tell others we’ve become more realistic, but that’s a copout. We’re more pessimistic about our prospects and constrained in what we’ll attempt. The antidote for this is to reflect on our best days, not our worst ones. After a loss, I spend time thinking about my most significant accomplishments. I read “thank you” notes I’ve received and even affirm out loud what I know to be true about myself. While this may sound cheesy, it prevents the mental limitations that come from the negative narratives around us. If we fail to handle losses well, we’ll eventually go to our graves with loads of potential still inside us. Never let your yesterday keep you from your tomorrow. Learn from it, but don’t live with it. It can REFINE you. This option is the one I’ve chosen. It’s healthy in that it assesses the loss that’s happened yet allows it to play a proper, positive role in our growth. When we let losses and failures refine us, we avoid a state of denial and embrace a state of development. We can genuinely say: “I am a work in progress.” As I review my setbacks—car accidents, a chronic disease, a plane crash, theft, and a lawsuit—I worked to make them tollbooths, not roadblocks for me. I paid a price and continued forward. They were hurdles that made me more agile and less fragile. How do we enable losses to refine us? Three key decisions. First is our attitude. We must remain optimistic and hopeful about our future. We must maintain a strong sense of identity. Second is our accountability. We must position people we admire next to us to hold us accountable to learn from and gain from our losses. We must request they ask us hard questions. Third is our teachability. We must embrace a growth mindset, not a fixed mindset. We must refuse to drift into a victim mentality by recognizing how we benefit from our losses or setbacks. This enables us to turn disadvantages into advantages. Winston Churchill exhorted us, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Robert Jordan framed it thusly, “The oak fought the wind and was broken; the willow bent when it must and survived.” If you’d like to dive deeper into conversations like this with your students or the young adults in your life, we invite you to explore our Habitudes leadership curriculum. Grounded in established research, Habitudes is an image-based leadership development curriculum that empowers educators, coaches, parents, and mentors to prepare any student to become a leader. Using stories, images and experiences, Habitudes teaches young adults valuable perspectives and leadership habits. Learn more about Habitudes today by clicking here. The post You Have 3 Options When You Face a Loss This Year appeared first on Growing Leaders. via Growing Leaders https://ift.tt/PDJSBEL In the bustling business realm, the heartbeat of success isn’t just in the numbers; it’s in the people. A positive workplace culture isn’t a mere accessory to a company; it is the backbone of business success. A workplace where employees feel valued, motivated, and engaged doesn’t just boost morale – it drives productivity, innovation, and overall business growth. Here’s why fostering a positive workplace culture is beneficial and essential for your company’s success.
A positive workplace culture fosters high levels of employee engagement. Engaged employees are passionate about their work; they are committed to the company’s goals and go the extra mile to contribute. Engaged employees are not just productive; they are innovative, collaborating effectively and generating fresh ideas that drive the business forward.
A workplace culture prioritizes well-being and creates an environment where employees feel cared for. When employees feel supported mentally, physically, and emotionally, they experience lower stress levels, better health, and higher job satisfaction. This, in turn, reduces absenteeism, enhances productivity, and contributes to a positive workplace atmosphere.
Positive workplace cultures emphasize teamwork and collaboration. When employees feel valued and respected, they are more likely to collaborate, share knowledge, and support one another. Strong team collaboration leads to better problem-solving, efficient project execution, and a harmonious work environment.
Companies with positive workplace cultures are magnets for top talent. Job seekers are attracted to organizations where they know they will be valued, have growth opportunities, and be part of a supportive community. Moreover, when employees are happy and engaged, they are more likely to stay with the company, reducing turnover rates and the costs associated with hiring and training new staff.
A positive workplace culture motivates employees to perform at their best. Employees who are happy and satisfied are more focused, productive, and creative. Encouraging a culture that values innovation and celebrates new ideas leads to continuous improvement and drives the company to stay ahead in the competitive market.
Happy employees create happy customers. When employees are engaged and motivated, they provide exceptional customer service. A positive workplace culture instills a sense of employee pride and commitment, reflecting positively on customer interactions. This enhanced customer experience leads to customer loyalty and positive word-of-mouth referrals.
As businesses invest in nurturing a positive workplace environment, they sow the seeds for a thriving, resilient, and successful organization. A positive workplace culture isn’t just a foundation; it’s the soul of business success. via Adam Berman Attorney | Business & Development https://ift.tt/RxVoI4m 
By Tim Elmore
One of my most common concerns is to miss important information when making decisions. I don’t want to feel I’m in the dark on the data. I want to make informed choices. Below, I have curated recent findings from the Pew Research Center, Gallup, the CDC, and other sources to give you a big-picture vantage point on life and education in 2024.
More people are concerned with the effects of artificial intelligence. This issue has become obvious to most educators and parents today. Over half say the increased use of artificial intelligence in daily life makes them feel more concerned than excited—up 14 percent from last year, according to an August survey. Overall, 52 percent of Americans say they feel this way, an increase from 38 percent in December 2022. People seem to agree that just because we can do something with tech doesn’t mean we should. Kevin Kelly said it best: “Our smart technology advances so quickly it outpaces our ability to civilize it.” We must build ethics and morals in our students if we hope to manage and master our technology.
My suggestions:
More kids fear gun violence, which affects their mental health. We all know today’s students are struggling with mental health issues, particularly anxiety. The number of U.S. children and teens killed by gunfire rose 50 percent in just two years, according to a 2023 analysis of data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). In 2019, there were 1,732 gun-deaths among U.S. children and teens under 18. By 2021, that figure had increased to 2,590. This is clearly a thing, and it’s not going away. We do no good in pursuing academic or graduation goals when a major hurdle preventing students’ learning is their mental health. I’m not diminishing the importance of academics, but years from now we must not look back on these days and see that we failed to address the whole student, including their mind, will, and emotions.
My suggestions:
Boys continue to fall behind in school and life. While more girls report suffering from depression, the increase among boys is greater, a 161 percent increase since 2010, according to the U.S. National Survey on Drug Use and Health. Their growth in mental health problems remains hidden from man since it is driven by sources beyond social media. New research released by the American Institute for Business Management reports that suicide rates among boys are higher than among girls and is the deepest sign of trouble for males. Girls continue to fare better in the classroom, including college graduation rates. Further, manufacturing jobs in the U.S. have decreased (in which male strength is an asset) and service jobs have increased (where females show some advantage). Further, a higher rate of males have withdrawn from the real world and engaged in a virtual world with video games, which doesn’t help job readiness.
My suggestions:
Kids need guidance from adults regarding technology and social media. YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram remain the most popular social media platforms among American teens. A majority say they’ve used these apps and sites, including nearly one in five who say they use YouTube or TikTok “almost constantly.” I believe we were all ambushed as social media surfaced over 15 years ago. Today’s middle school students are not emotionally ready to fend off addiction to technology. (Adults have a hard enough time eluding addictions to smart technology). Cell phones have changed the way we communicate and spend discretionary time. Smartphones were even more of a game changer. I believe most of us got ambushed. Without considering the downside of tech’s negative consequences, parents let portable devices become a “one-eyed babysitter” that frees them up to do their own thing. Parents and teachers must provide guidance and accountability to teens, and especially to younger children.
My suggestions:
I know a high school principal who held an assembly for her students and shared changes the school planned to make in light of this data. She and her APs took some of the steps I suggested above. Afterward, a student approached her to say, “Thank you.” The principal smiled and replied, “You’re welcome, but for what?” The teen replied, “I feel like you understand us.” In my humble opinion, that’s one of the best compliments a school leader can receive.
The post Research that Informs Your Decisions This School Year appeared first on Growing Leaders. via Growing Leaders https://ift.tt/H8pVLcB Real estate negotiation is an art that requires finesse, strategy, and a deep understanding of the market dynamics. Whether you are a buyer aiming for the best deal or a seller looking to maximize your profit, mastering the art of negotiation is crucial. Here are some valuable tips for buyers and sellers to navigate the complexities of real estate negotiations successfully.
For Buyers:
For Sellers:
via Adam Berman Attorney | Real Estate https://ift.tt/xDvEQNB 
By Andrew McPeak
“To live with joy is to live with wonder, gratitude, and hope.” — David Brooks
In 2014, a fascinating report from the Harvard Graduation School of Education’s Making Caring Common Project revealed a startling contrast between the message parents intend to send to their children and the one that is getting through. The report entitled “The Children We Mean to Raise: The Real Messages Adults Are Sending About Values” surveyed over 10,000 middle and high school-aged students about what was most important to them: “achieving at a high level, happiness (feeling good most of the time), or caring for others.”
The results were striking:
“Almost 80% of youth picked high achievement or happiness as their top choice, while roughly 20% selected caring for others.” One student in the survey summed up their opinion: “If you are not happy, life is nothing. After that, you want to do well. And after that, expend any excess energy on others.”
What’s most interesting about this blatantly self-focused perspective in our students is where they got it from. In similar surveys of adults over the same timeframe, “most parents and teachers say that developing caring children is a top priority and rank it as more important than children’s achievements.” But youth aren’t buying it:
“About 80% of the youth in our survey report that their parents are more concerned about achievement or happiness than caring for others. A similar percentage of youth perceive teachers as prioritizing students’ achievements over their caring. Youth were also 3 times more likely to agree than disagree with this statement: “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.”
I’d like to summarize all that we are learning here: 1. If you ask a parent or a teacher what is most important in the development of the young people under their care, they will say things like “kindness,” “care,” or “character.” 2. When you ask students what they think their parents and teachers really care about, they say things like “achievement” or “happiness.” 3. So, which answer is it? The one we are practicing, of course.
Ironically, adults’ obsession with their kids’ happiness over kindness and achievement over purpose has backfired. According to research by Suniya S. Luthar, “children from affluent communities who are subjected to intense achievement pressure by their parents don’t appear to outperform other students.” Instead of success or happiness, the most common traits these happiness-chasing students share today are stress and loneliness. Is it possible that in making happiness the goal, we were mistaken? I think so.
A Goal More Important Than Happiness So, if success (and the happiness we think it will bring) is not the goal, what is? In his excellent book on the pursuit of the most fulfilling version of life, The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life, bestselling author David Brooks writes:
”We think we want ease and comfort, and of course we do from time to time, but there is something inside us that longs for some calling that requires dedication and sacrifice.”
What Brooks means, and we all know intrinsically, is that true life satisfaction comes not from rising above the little struggles and sacrifices in life but from embracing them. When our kids embrace the challenges and struggles they face for the sake of something bigger, instead of happiness, they find another more helpful outcome: joy. Whereas happiness results from achievement or pleasure, joy comes from meaning and purpose. Because they center themselves around a higher purpose, people with joy are not as vulnerable to life’s little obstacles, like failed math tests and athletic injuries, or life’s significant obstacles, such as the loss of a loved one. A student’s access to meaning and purpose gives them an unshakeable steadiness. Joy is a much better goal than happiness.
Sadly, not a lot of students are feeling purposeful these days. In a study for his book, The Path to Purpose, William Damon found that only 20 percent of young adults have a fully realized sense of purpose. So, how can we help our students find both purpose and the joy it brings? Here are a few ideas:
1. Young people need opportunities to discover their passions. I remember watching my brother work at his love of music for hours upon hours when I was growing up. Even back then, my younger brother had found something he was willing to give up his time and resources to chase. It’s not surprising he is still making music today — now in his thirties. Do you know where the word “passion” comes from? The root means “to suffer.” Young people need opportunities to discover the things they are willing to spend their time and resources on simply because they love them. What opportunities are your students getting to find out what they love?
2. Young people need parents, leaders, and mentors who recognize their joy. A friend of mine likes to say that “the only thing rarer than genius is the ability to recognize it.” When a young person finds a passion or purpose, it is doubtful they will also realize what they have discovered. They need adults who call out the joy they experience and encourage them to chase it. What activities are most likely to bring a smile to their face? What could they spend hours doing without even realizing it?
3. Young leaders need us to model and communicate in a better way. As we saw in the surveys, most adults believe one thing about success but teach their kids another. If you are one of those adults who genuinely desires your child or student’s joy over their happiness, then you must embody that belief. Let them chase goals that are unlikely to bring financial success. Find ways to model personal sacrifice and even talk about it with kids. Discover ways to celebrate kindness, generosity, attitude, and effort as often as you do their test scores and sports stats. It’s not that one is terrible and the other is good. The two just need to be in balance.
There is a simple way to understand the difference between happiness and joy.
Chasing happiness will bring short-term gain but long-term pain. Chasing joy might bring short-term pain, but it will bring long-term gain.
Leaders, let’s start choosing the bigger picture today. For our children’s future — and their joy — let’s lead them down a different path.
The post We Don’t Actually Want Our Kids to Be Happy appeared first on Growing Leaders. via Growing Leaders https://ift.tt/SLR60vw |
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